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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Just me.


Living alone… I haven't figured out if I like it quite yet. I'm still waiting on my verdict. At times, I think it's liberating. At times, I think it's lonely. This experience is stretching me and I know I’m learning along the way.

I already have a good hold on who I am, and I like who I am. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm a work in progress, but at this point in my life, I'm happy with me.

So, while it's just me, I will wake up, leave my bed unmade because I can, go to work, drive home with the windows down, listen to my favorite music, walk with Mozie to the beach, people watch, soak in the sunset over the ocean, think, feel, dream, cook myself whatever sounds good, drink out of the carton, do the dishes whenever I feel like it, leave my dresser drawers open, channel surf whenever I please, watch only what I want to watch, and I'll make the most of this time to just be with me.

I think the great majority of people are so worried about always having someone around, always filling up their days with people and activities, so afraid of being alone, that they never get the chance to know who they really are, away from everything else. So I’ll take this time to do that. Just me.

And hey, if nothing else, in 50 years when I'm old and gray (or maybe still blond!) I'll forget the lonely times but still feel proud and accomplished to say, “Once upon a time I lived all alone in a 400 square foot studio in the city. Just me.”
-jess