<$Jessica Helton, Jessica Helton blog, jess helton blog, blog, adventures and ramblings, adventure blog, ramblings, mozart, perez hilton, tmz, los angeles blog, los angeles stories, stories from la, city stories, funny stories, funny blog$>

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I have old people taste.

Apparently I have old people taste. It just clicked today as I was in the shoe department and reached for the same pair of sandals as a 75 year old. I swear, they were actually cute! They weren't Keds and did not involve any sort of Velcro straps. My only hope is that the sandals were a gift for her granddaughter, but it still stings a bit. Excuse me for a minute while I process this all, as I have one hundred different scenarios running through my head.

If the shoe situation had been the first red flag, that would be one thing. But a few weeks ago I was wearing a new dress and as my friends from work and I headed out to lunch, we got into the crowded elevator and a lady (who looked well past retirement age) blurted out, "Hey, I have that dress too!" I looked around the elevator, hoping with every fiber of my being that she wasn't talking to me and someone else was wearing a dress. Anyone else. Please! Someone else be in a dress too. But no, it was just me. Luckily I didn't burst into tears of humiliation (I saved that for the privacy of my own home) and instead I replied, "Really? Well maybe we can wear them on the same day." At least I got a laugh from everyone (except her). The dress will forever hang in my closet- I can't risk running into my twin in the lobby.
Also, I don't usually publicize it, but I kind of enjoy bingo. Mainly on cruise ships. Especially when there is a large jackpot involved.
Plus, at the grocery store earlier this week, I headed over to pick up some lemon yogurt (the only flavor I'll buy) and there was an old man blocking the entire shelf, slowly taking the lemon yogurts and putting them into his cart. One by one. There were 20 other flavors but he wanted the only ones that I wanted. It was like he was going to be retreating to a bomb shelter and needed a year's supply of lemon yogurt. I thought lemon would be too tart for his old taste buds, but apparently there must be something about it that attracts the older folks. I had to double check the label on the one lone lemon yogurt that the man so kindly left behind on the shelf to make sure it wasn't the kind with the natural enzymes in it that keep you regular.
I may be an old soul with old people taste, and I may have an uncanny rapport with senior citizens, but I still don't eat dinner at 3:00 pm. And I don't like porcelain dolls or those straw Easter hats that people hang on their walls as decorations. I don't even own a recliner and I definitely don't like fruitcakes or jello or Christmas sweaters or knitting....yet. I guess we'll have to give it a few years. Talk about something to look forward to...