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Friday, August 15, 2008

Rest assured.

For the most part, I've adjusted quite well to living alone. I usually get a good night's sleep, as long as my upstairs neighbor doesn't decide to hold a dance recital at 3:30 in the morning. (I have found that in the wee hours of the morning he likes to focus on tribal stomp and hip hop routines mostly. What ever happened to waltzing or slow dancing? I have to admit though, it sounds like the man has some amazing foot work. Maybe I could learn something from him.)

Like I said, I usually get a good night's sleep. But last night I was awoken by a loud noise. It startled me, and Mozart, being the ferocious guard dog that he is, began barking which affirmed the fact that this noise was not just my imagination. (I know what you're thinking, and the answer is "Yes, if my life were a movie, the Temptation's song 'Just My Imagination' would be playing during this scene.") So I got out of bed and settled Mozie's barking down so that he wouldn't wake up the neighbors (although come to think of it, 99.8% of the neighbors would have had their hearing aids out and sitting on the nightstand next to them at the time.) A minute later, after Mozie calmed down, I got back into bed.

But just as I was just closing my eyes lids, I saw a bright light come through my blinds. I told myself I was just seeing things, but sure enough, a few seconds later, the light shone through my blinds again. I tried to stay very still and pulled the covers up over me (Just like when I was a child, I believed the comforter would protect me from any evil monster that might come into my room at night. A brilliant idea, who would ever think to look under the covers?) After seeing the light for a third time, I became convinced of the fact that someone was outside my window. It was either a giant flashlight held by a robber or an aerial police search light from a helicopter looking for a criminal on the loose. It was definitely a lose-lose situation-
and there was definitely someone outside my window.

I also began hearing a loud rumble and what sounded like hammering right outside of my apartment. "Well isn't this great!" I thought, "Now the bad guy is trying to hammer his way through my wall. Or is he trying to break down my door?" Another lose-lose scenario. I got up and opened the blinds the smallest bit, just to peer out and survey the situation. I couldn't spot anything suspicious, so I decided that he must be trying another window. The hammering noise was in small increments- Mozie would bark and then it would seem to stop. A few minutes later the hoodlum would regain his composure and courage and his hammering would begin again...

I was finishing up my game plan and settling on an escape route, when I got a text message from my friend who lives nearby that said, "Wow, can you believe all this thunder and lightning?" The truth had been revealed. And yes, maybe I got a little carried away, but the rare case of thunder and lightning in LA was a possibility that didn't even enter my mind. So with a huge sigh of relief, I replied something like, "Yeah I know! This thunder and lightning is so cool!" I could now rest assured, but I still pulled the comforter over my head, just to be safe...