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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Meet my new walking buddy.

I'd like to introduce you to my new walking buddy. Her name is Maria Shriver. You may know her as part of the famed Kennedy clan, or perhaps as Arnold 'The Governator' Schwarzeneggar's wife.

How did all this happen you ask? Well, I was out for my nightly walk and as I turned onto Ocean Avenue, Mozie felt the need suddenly to relieve himself. I continue to be humbled each and every time I have to wait for him to finish, with my hand in the plastic doggie bag, and even more humbling is the dreaded subservient pick-up that screams "Yes, I'm higher on the food chain but my dog has me whipped!" This time it paid off though, because as I stood waiting for him to make his deposit, I spotted Maria and her daughter approaching. I thought, "Get on with it Mozie! Here comes our new walking buddy!"

Mozie finally finished his business and Maria and her daughter continued walking down the street. Conveniently I was headed in the same direction, so I hurried along, only a few strides behind them, keeping close but not awkwardly close. I didn't want to step on their shoe laces or their heels, and I definitely didn't want the secret service to pop out of the bushes and tackle me. I turned off my iPod but left my earphones in my ears as props so they wouldn't know I was eavesdropping on their conversation. I don't think they even noticed I was there until another dog passed us on the sidewalk, and Mozie let the oddest sounding bark/cough that you would have expected to come from a 90 year old life-long smoker.

I tried to look extremely friendly and kept a cheesy smirk on my face (one like actors make during the music montage at the beginning of a sitcom) the entire walk, just in case a paparazzi snapped a picture of us from a parked car. If someone were to take Maria's picture as we were walking, it would appear as if I was walking right with them. With our close proximity, I can see the tabloid picture and caption now. "Maria Shriver enjoys an evening walk in Santa Monica with her daughter and her favorite walking buddy in all the world, Jessica, and Jessica's dog, a rather large Yorkshire Terrier named Sir Mozart Newyorkie."

We finally had to part ways. I figured it would be a little awkward to follow them all the way to their front gates. Maria doesn't know it yet, but I think we might meet for a walk and stair climb tomorrow and chances are, she'll bring Arnold along. If you've seen Arnie lately, he has definitely let his body builder image go, and I have a feeling Maria may want me to whip him into shape and teach him a thing or two about working out.