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Monday, September 22, 2008

Mexican Food & Pick-Up Lines


There is a good little Mexican food restaurant place by my house. The first time I ordered take-out from there a few months ago, the worker from behind the counter was awkwardly staring at me without blinking for what felt like 5 minutes. Finally my order number was called and I walked to the counter, and in front of the entire line, he loudly said to me in a thick Mexican accent, "Easy on the tequila, eh?" I turned around, kind of confused and thought, "Wow, was that the worst pick-up line in history or is he announcing in front of all these people that I look like a boozer?" I gave him a courtesy laugh and left on my way.
I decided to pick up take-out from there again just the other day. As I was waiting for my food, I recognized the worker from last time. He handed me my order, smiled and once again said to me "Easy on the tequila, eh?" Hearing this strange line for a second time, 4 months later, confused me, as nodded as I said, "Ok, uh...I'll go easy."
After reflecting upon this deja vu experience, all I can do is assume this is the only complete sentence in English that the man has learned. Really though, "Easy on the tequila"? Of all sentences in the entire world. I think his English teacher was messing with him. What ever happened to "Have a nice day" or "See you next time"? And if he wanted a terrible pick-up line, why not use "I lost my number, can I borrow yours?" or "I may not look like much now, but I'm drinking milk!" (better yet, in his case, "...I'm drinking leche!")
The next time that I decide to order take-out from there, I think I'll beat him to the punch and warn him about the effects that tequila can have if not enjoyed in moderation. Or I could do a little acting routine with my amazing skills. I'll bust in the door, stumbling and fumbling over my words like a drunk, walk up to him and dramatically say, "Whhyyy? Why didn't someone warn me to go easy on the tequila?"