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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Taffy- Not a laughing matter

I think we all remember Laughy Taffy from our childhood. Ok, actually it's Laffy Taffy, but none the less, taffy will never be a laughing matter to me. I've been scarred by this chewy candy that is made by stretching and pulling of a sticky mass of boiled sugar, butter, flavorings, and coloring.

My mom just got back from a vacation on the east coast. She brought me back a ring as a souvenir. I think she learned her lesson from our last trip to the Atlantic coast. We thought we had made a good souvenir choice for family and friends. If only we knew then the damage that our souvenirs would cause in the lives of others.

The culprit was salt-water taffy. It really seemed like a harmless gift. After all, it even claimed to be "World Famous". Well, not one person, not two people, but three people thought that we were giving them a souvenir and instead we unknowingly gave them a trip to the dentist and costly repairs. There was some major tooth damage caused by our hand-picked selection of taffy.

First up was my grandpa. Being a big fan of taffy, he loved his souvenir but quickly lost a crown while chewing on it.

Next up was my grandma. She was lucky enough to keep her teeth intact but the taffy did pull out her bridge. Yet another dental bill.

Last up was the only one who may have been asking for what our souvenir did to her. I'm not one to judge, but this lady worked for my dad for almost 15 years and she was the real life Debbie Downer. I never saw her smile in all the years of knowing her, but I can only imagine that she was smiling ever so slightly as she bit into the taffy. She probably chewed for a moment, savoring the taste and only seconds later realized that her tooth had been pulled out and was now part of the taffy. The tooth had to be carefully extracted from the wad of wet taffy while she hysterically complained what a terrible souvenir this was. She had to leave work immediately for an emergency dental appointment. As if she wasn't miserable enough, this just did her in. She will probably never smile again.

In hindsight, I think the taffy's claim of "World Fame" has nothing to do with its taste and much more to do with its guarantee to harm your chompers. 3 victims in just our experience alone, how many more are affected each and every day by this seemingly harmless souvenir? It's nearly heartbreaking! So remember, your thoughtful, sweet and tasty little gift may be giving a lot more than you intended to your family and friends....a toothless, jack-o-lantern smile. Then again, it may be worth giving to people who need a little pay back!