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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The 2nd Office Commandment

The 2nd Office Commandment- Thou shalt not crop dust the office (unless of course you are an agriculturalist and your office is a farm). The Urban Dictionary describes crop dusting as "Passing gas while walking, specifically down the aisles of cubicles in an office." You should also note that rows of cubicles are referred to as a cubicle farm. (I highly recommend the Urban Dictionary if you want to feel cool, hip or "wit it", as the kids like to say. My life on the streets of LA wouldn't be the same without it. Today alone I learned that a High Ten is a "double handed high five, reserved for especially awesome scenarios" and Textpectation is "the anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.")

My dad's miserable employee (the one mentioned in an earlier blog, who lost her on the tooth on the souvenir taffy that we had given her), also had a problem with crop dusting the office's cubicle farm. Everyone was pretty certain that she did it on purpose. It was yet another way that she managed to keep a dark cloud over her head at all times. (I have to be fair and say that every incident may not have been a pre-plotted crop dusting. There were certain times when she would drop office supplies such as paper clips and pens on the floor, bend down to pick them up and, well you know... These times could be considered accidents.)

Anyway, today's word to the wise is don't crop dust your cubicle farm. It's tacky. It's cowardly. It's awkward. And it's probably the reason you're not getting a raise.