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Friday, November 21, 2008

The 3rd Office Commandment

I wasn't planning on presenting you with a 3rd Office Commandment. But I've just become inspired by recent events. Let me get down to it. Today I walked into the restroom, pushed open the stall door and interrupted an older lady doing her business. Man, I hate that. Pure awkwardness. She looked like a deer in the headlights. But this time I lucked out and some embarrassment was spared, because she didn't see me.

The record label that I work at is in a building with a variety of tenants. Right next door to our suite is The Institute for The Blind. (Which reminds me, working on the 6th floor next to this institute does not come in handy during fire drills!) Anyway, today I lucked out because the lady I walked in on was a patient from The Institute for The Blind and so she couldn't see me. But she definitely heard me! She immediately stood up and dove over to the door to lock it. Looks like this time I can't credit my amazing speed or full camouflage outfit for escaping the scene without being identified.

If I were given a chance to have a heart-to-heart talk with this lady, the first thing I would instill in her would be to always lock the restroom door. Always. Even if you think you'll be quick. Always. Even if you just need to blow your noise. Always. Even if you're just resting. And if you're just resting, I'd suggest finding a more peaceful place to do so. Maybe a park bench?

So my friends, the 3rd Office Commandment is just a precaution, but I urge you to put it into practice. Awkwardness is a bad vibe to have around. Thou shalt always lock thy bathroom door.