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Monday, November 10, 2008

I am a horrible mother.

I am a horrible mother. Mozie just turned 14 yesterday (in dog years, of course) and I thought today was his birthday. I can't believe that I forgot my only child's birth date. And more than that, I can't believe that he's already a teenager. Time flies. It seems like only 2 years ago that he was a little puppy keeping me up at all hours of the night. Oh wait, it was.

Well, Mozie had better not start with the attitude and teenage angst and rebellion, or we're in for a lonnggg year. Luckily, the teen years will only last until his next birthday, and then Mozie will turn 21 years old. Speaking of which, I should begin planning a 21st celebration for him in Vegas, with a dog friendly penthouse at the Palms, a 3 hour tummy massage at the spa, and a bathtub full of margaritas for him to swim around in. Hmm I wonder if the acidity would be bad for his coat? I'd better check into that.

Let's not even talk about 2 years from now, when Mozie turns 28 in dog years and will be older than me. How strange is that? He will be my elder and I will have to respect him. And before I know it, a few more years will pass and I will be calling him Grandpa Moz and he will be walking with a cane and wearing bifocals and doing crossword puzzles and dying his hair to try to cover up the gray while I'm away at work. He will tell me long-winded stories about his past loves and the day that his lover (with no facial features) got sent away. He will bark and carry on about the good old days and I will sit and listen intently, knowing full well that the good old days were only a few years back.

Ok, well I'd better get going and start the damage control. Last year Mozie begged me for a Louis Vuitton leash for his birthday. Begged. He obviously didn't appreciate the sentiment and was ungrateful because he quickly took it upon himself to chew through it. I wonder how I can top that gift. Being a teenager, he might want a Guitar Hero to chew through, but he'd probably be just as happy with a chicken flavored rawhide.