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Friday, March 19, 2010

Moving, Mozie, & An Elf Named Leonard

I've enjoyed two good and growing years of living alone. On second thought, who am I kidding? I have not been alone at all thanks to the 1/2 dog, 1/2 human, Sir Mozart Newyorkie who has been the perfect roommate... if you don't factor in his separation anxiety and crazy fits of barking whenever I try to leave for a night out causing me to either change my plans or bring him with me and leave him in the car. I truly believe that Mozie wishes he were born my Siamese twin so that we could be inseparable (literally) and he could be all up in my grill all the time. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate his devotion, I really do, at least for the most part...

Well the time has come for me to move again and my new place is perfect- except it doesn't allow dogs. I know what you're thinking, Mozie is not technically 100% dog so the rule shouldn't apply to him, but unfortunately that will be tough to argue with my new landlord Ellie. (Ellie, by the way, is a sweet older lady who owns a 5 feet tall wooden elf named Leonard, whom she proudly bragged to me has "100% carved-to-scale, lifelike body parts". Yeaaah, it's a long story, but apparently she made this shocking but rather impressive discovery 7 years into their relationship, after deciding to take off Leonard's pants to wash them. One day, when I can get that elf alone, I will verify her claims. And take pictures for you. Oh and Ellie has also expressed strong interest in adopting me. Kind of strange, but kind of flattering. I might like having an elf brother, be it Leonard or Will Ferrell...uh wait a minute, I just realized it might not be an elf brother I'd be getting, it could be an elf dad depending on Ellie's relationship with her wooden man. To each his own, but still, awkward.)

Anyway, my newly empty-nester parents have kindly agreed to become foster parents for the time being. Don't feel bad, Mozie is obsessed with my dad who is equally obsessed with him. Really, they both like each other waaay more than they like me. I'm definitely the third wheel in that relationship. You think I'm joking? You should see their slow motion, pee-filled excitement (on Mozie's part only, I hope..) during reunions when I come home to visit my parents. My dad makes Mozie cooked to order ham and cheese omelettes every morning, and in comparison he's never even made me a bowl of cereal. So don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change a thing, but being a young, single mom these past few years has been tough and I need some time to sow my (not so) wild oats in the city without a child keeping me on house arrest at night. Plus, I will get joint custody on weekends and my sweet son will spend his days in the suburbs with his loving grandparents eating 4 course meals, doing cannonballs into the pool, running manic circles in the backyard, and cuddling with my dad at the end of every day. What more could a dog ask for?

Taking Mozie's place as roommate will be my good friend from college whom I look forward to laughing way too much with, sharing bottles of wine with, and making extremely random YouTube videos with. Plus, she has promised not to bark or throw crazy fits when I leave for a night out. So as much as I'll miss my sidekick Mozie, this new situation is going to be a good thing for all of us.

This is the 4th move for me in less than 4 years. And along with my family, who year-after-year not-so-willingly volunteer (I ain't too proud to beg) to be my moving team but have vowed to cut me off after this move, I'll admit I'm getting tired of moving too. I'm finding that none of these places end up feeling like home. Perhaps because I don't stay long enough, but maybe because home is that sense from your childhood that you can revisit but can't recreate until you find someone to reenact it all with. And so in the years in between, in the years of searching, there is a stirring and an underlying restlessness that's hard to ignore. Kind of like a nomadic-never-settled feeling hiding in some corner of you, waiting for resolution. So you try your best to fill up the space but it's just not the same as you remember. But one day it will be. One day you will find home again.

So until then, besides having some ridiculously good-looking neighbors that I've already spotted whom I hope will very warmly welcome me to the neighborhood if you know what I'm sayin' (what am I sayin'?), my new place has a roof top patio with a view of the ocean where I plan on spending evenings with champagne and a notebook (and quite possibly an elf named Leonard). And as for Mozie, I will be back to get him one day, but until then he can come visit me in the city on weekends, that is, if he can pull himself away from spooning with his foster dad in the suburbs.