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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It beats a backstage pass any day.

My personal life just got the most amazing upgrade and I cannot contain my excitement. Yes, this new addition changes everything and if I’m being honest, it is the absolute highlight of my mornings and nights. Before this new love entered my life, I never knew who I'd end up in the shower with. Granted, that was somewhat entertaining at the beginning and better than being alone, but then I realized that I was spending most of my time bathing with random people whom I didn't have feelings for, and really, I'm not that kind of girl and it doesn't have to be that way. You see, in the past I had an AM/FM shower radio but unfortunately I was at the liberty of horrible LA radio station music. All too often reception on the radio would get really bad and I would end up with no choice but to shower with a Spanish singer that didn't know English or a rapper like Snoop Dogg or Fifty/Fittie/50 Cent/Scent...

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against rappers. In fact, the rap culture happens to be extremely close to my heart. For example, the gangsta movie 'Ten Things I Hate About You' was on TV last weekend and in the opening scene that hardcore rap song "One Week" by The Barenaked Ladies started playing...you know, the song with those ghetto crazy lyrics, including my personal favorite line, "Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes, big like LeAnn Rimes cuz I'm all about value." Being confident in my mad rap skills, I loudly started flowing along for my homies in the room. (Yes, I know every word to "One Week", and no, I never sat down and consciously memorized the lyrics with flashcards in my Freshman year of high school. Ok, maybe there's a chance that I did, but that's beside the point.) All I know is that I was really on a roll, caught up in the moment and envisioning my future rap career opening for my shower-mate Snoop, when I heard a quiet voice that sounded like it was coming from under my couch cushion, saying, "Jessica? Jessica?" I looked down at my phone that was sitting beside me and my heart sank. Someone was on the line. Apparently, while I was spitting rhymes and throwing up gang signs, I accidentally hit my phone and it conveniently dialed a person from the past that I had not spoken to in years. And to make matters more awkward, according to my call log, they had stayed on the line listening for close to 3 minutes. I quickly hung up the call but the damage had already been done. I'm not going to acknowledge it either. Let's just forget that happened, ok? Hopefully I called this person while they were napping causing them to write off my bizarre serenade as a dream. Hey, one can hope. One can also hope that they were blown away by my legit rap skills.

Back to my amazing shower partner upgrade- thanks to my new iPod shower stereo system, I now can select whom I bathe with. As much as I enjoy the gangsta lifestyle, given the freedom of choice, I prefer to freshen up with singer/songwriters, the occasional rock star, and if I’m feeling a little risqué, an entire band. And let me tell you, it beats a backstage pass any day.